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How do you keep a stranger's attention in a random chat room

The ability to attract and keep the interlocutor's attention in a random chat room is a particularly important skill. We will explain you why. It takes one click to switch to a new person here. And the odds that the system will connect you to the same person in the future are almost zero. If you miss the chance one day, there will be no more. A person will just get lost among thousands of other video chat users.

What to do if you find the interlocutor interesting and cute, and you do not want to miss this chance? We have prepared some useful tips for you on how to keep your partner's attention in a random video chat. It is not as complicated as it looks.

5 simple tips for every day


  • Tip #1. Ask the right questions

Any person is flattered being listened to. And the best way to demonstrate your interest is to ask clarifying questions and leave comments. If you can "snatch" another topic during the story, go back to it, ask a question, show that you are really interested.

  • Tip #2. Look "in the eye"

Any psychologist will confirm that eye contact is very important in people's communication. But how do you look a person in the eye in a video chat? After all, when you look at the monitor, the interlocutor sees only your lowered look. So the advice: try to look more often at the webcam. You do not have to look at the lens all the time, but at least from time to time, it is worth looking at. And remember about the smile. Do not sit with a gloomy face, but radiate friendliness and affability.

  • Tip #3. Gesticulate

Nod, make gestures with your hands, use your facial expressions. All this gives the conversation more variety and richness. That is why we do not recommend video chatting with strangers just lying on the sofa. This severely limits the possibilities for gesticulation and emotion.

  • tip #4. Answer the questions directly

If you are asked for something specific, try to answer in a concise manner rather than stretching the thought. No need to cajole and dodge the answer. If the conversation topic is unpleasant to you or if the interlocutor asked you an incorrect question, it is better to tell him about it immediately and do not develop the topic. And just like that, one should not insist if one does not want to support a conversation. He may have his reasons, and you may not want to know about them yet.

  • Tip #5. Tell stories and give examples

It is sometimes difficult for people to fully understand a new topic without context. For example, you decided to talk about playing guitar. The interlocutor is unlikely to understand what a barre, how to read the tablature and why you need a capoaster. Do not go into complicated details. Better share a story how you came to this. Why did you want to learn to play, who or what influenced you, why do you like this activity? Such a story will be more interesting and motivate the interlocutor to start learning to play himself.

What do psychologists say about it

There are many tricks and techniques that help to keep the conversation partner's attention and interest. Many of them are quite simple, but not obvious. We collected some of the most interesting ones.

  1. Slightly raising the voice to attract attention. Of course, you don not have to switch to screaming. But a joyful emotional greeting can help you. In addition, you can play with a combination of surprise and heightened tone. "This can't be happening!", "Really?", "Are you serious now?" These are very emotional and vivid phrases.
  2. "Attraction" technique. The point is that in the beginning the initiator of the conversation pronounces something badly discernable. By doing so, he makes the interlocutor ask around and focus more on the next sentence. But this technique must be used with caution. It works best when you have already managed to attract attention, but you only want to increase the effect a little. It is not worth starting the first conversation with a quiet and inaudible phrase.
  3. "Imposing the rhythm" technique. Monotonous conversation tires out very quickly, and the interlocutor loses concentration. The easiest way to set the desired conversation rhythm is to variate your voice and speech. Alter louder and quieter conversations, change the speed of speech. It prevents the person you are talking to from switching to something else and being distracted. To better understand how it works, listen to radio announcers and popular TV presenters. And then compare it to the monotonous speech of one of your university professors. The difference is obvious, isn't it?
  4. Pauses, pauses, pauses. Silence in some cases can make far more sense than conversation. Do not perceive it as a void that must be filled with noise. On the contrary, pauses can give your conversation much more weight and importance. The main thing is to use them correctly. For example, before a rather long story begins. Or to control the listener's attention before a particularly important phrase. Complete the pause with a meaningful look at the camera, and you will get the attention of your interlocutor.
  5. "Provocation" technique. It is another effective tool, but you must use it with care. You can raise topics and sound thoughts that will knowingly cause your interlocutor to disagree and want to express his opinion, for example, about the coronavirus. Perhaps this way you will find a good reason for interesting discussion. But here it is important not to cross the line and not to turn an easy provocation into a real conflict. Do not bring up politics, religion, etc. But you can say that you like cats more than dogs, for example. The topic is quite neutral and will be a good ground for discussion.

All these tips and techniques work not only in anonymous video chats with strangers but also in real life. Experiment, make your communication more intense and keep your interlocutors' attention right!

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